What If My Child Isn't...
We want so much for our children, don’t we? We want them to be strong and good looking and smart and well liked.
We want them to be obedient enough that we don’t even think of the police at 3 am, yet with enough gumption to be their own person.
We want them to be athletic and capable and good and devout and…and…and…
Not only do we want these things for our kids, but we also often fret about what other people are thinking about our kids and our parenting. We want our 3-year-old to sit still, our 7 year old to be helpful, our 12 year old to be engaging, and our 17 year old to be a star athlete…all so our parents, in-laws, Ivy League universities, and the entirety of the rest of the world might think we're good parents.
Perfect child=Perfect mom. Finally, we can breathe.
But what if we find out later that our child isn't a genius? What if they struggle to read or are cognitively delayed? What if they are dreamers and walk into door frames? What if they have the coordination of a drunk baby elephant? What if he isn’t potty trained at 4 and our parents are starting to look askance and make “helpful suggestions” ...people will think we failed!
So we obsessively read checklists. Is our baby rolling over yet? Did she just say "acumen" as her first word or was that just a burp? He “should” be rolling over both ways by 6 months…does that mean by the day he turns 6 months, or does that mean at any point in that month until he turns 7 months or...?
SO much stress! SO much pressure!
Sweet mama, it’s ok! Remember, the beautiful, raw, new human you are raising was created by God, not really by you.
“For You created my innermost parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb.”—Psalm 139:13 NASB.
He was the one who chose your child’s specific blend of abilities, talents, skills, and personality for His purposes, not your in-law’s purposes, not Harvard’s (or University of Alabama’s) purposes. Not even for your purposes!
Now, of course we have a responsibility to steward our child well 😊. We are entrusted to raise him or her in the admonition of the Lord, knowing Him. We have a responsibility to provide nurturing and love, protection and food, medical attention and an education. We are responsible for teaching him or her how to control his or her impulses, to be kind and have manners to the utmost of his or her ability.
But whether your child is a genius who invents anti-gravity or a person who needs help with daily tasks, whether your child is a prima ballerina or has two left feet, remember that the Lord loves your child more than you do, has created your child on purpose with the greatest care and attention. Every hair on your child's head is numbered (no mom is able to do that!).
No matter what skills or talents your child has or doesn’t have, your child is precious and of great worth as a human and has a unique role in creation that no one else can fill. It might not be a famous role. It might not be a noticed role. It might not win you or your child any accolades here on earth, but the Lord will see His will done in your child.
Don’t worry about your child’s IQ level or attractiveness or athletic or artistic or musical or any other ability. Trust that the Lord made your child and that His work was good.